I have been looking for a place to share things from my heart that might or might not interest anyone who would stop by. I am new to blogging and hope what I have to say isn't too boring for any one. You see, I am lonely I moved to SC over a year ago now. It is a retirement of sorts for my hubby and I. Although, shuffleboard and bridge are not on our daily agenda. The good thing, We found you don't have to shovel sunshine.
In our move we left behind everyone. 2 fantastic children with wonderful spouses and 8 equally fantastic grandchildren. All our friends, and Rand's family. EVERYONE! I was sure we would find our nitch and settle in to a grand lifestyle. But, no...it is quite the opposite. We moved too quickly in moving to this town. Everyone who lives here can't believe that it was basically a dart on the map that made us choose this place. When you only have a week to find a house, you do stupid things. The minute I decided to let the real estate agent take over we were done.
Sumter is a Military town. I had the feeling of being protected here at first. When you hear the F16's practice in your backyard daily, you get that sense of security. Sumter is a lot of old families as well who control things so new doesn't move in. Shopping is basically a tiny JCPenney's and Wal-Mart. Big deal. If you want anything special a trip to Columbia is the plan of the day.
Friendships have all been formed and you are the new guy trying to infiltrate their groups. At least that's the way they make me feel. Churches are a dime a dozen and although you may connect with a group, Sunday morning is the only time you have a chance to fellowship as their lives are already filled with "old friends."
The neighbors all keep to themselves. I have wondered where the southern hospitality you hear so much about is. The house across the street just sold. I have been axiouslt waiting for a moving van to come. I vowed to myself I would be a good neighbor when I meet the new folks. I even have a casserole dish of homemade manicotti's in my freezer to take to the new owners on moving day to make their burden light. Today I got excited when someone was there raking up the yard. I told my hubby I would be right back as someone was at the house and hopefully I would be able to find out when they are moving in. When I introduced myself to the lady she said the home was her sisters and she lives in Texas. They were only there to help her out for a few hours. I asked when she was going to move in and she said maybe 2 years or so, She said she is a nurse in Houston and just bought the house so if she died she would have something to leave her son. I am sure she saw the disappointment on my face.
To make matters worse, my hubby isn't satisfied with the church we have been attending so we are visiting many churches to find a fit. He doesn't understand just how hard that is for me. He is the leader of this home and I love him and will honor him by going where he goes but I am so lonely. Week after week we sit in a new Sunday School class and church listening for just what we need to hear and then it is on to the next. I know we will find what he is looking for soon but it is soooooo hard! Some of the sweetest people are in churches. But do I see fellowship outside of church with them, no.
It only makes me regret ever suggesting a move south for Rand's health. My life was my kids and family. Now they're all too far. I realize what my own mother went through when she lived in Florida all those years. Although I never really heard her say it, she must have been lonely too. For 22 years all I have done was babysit one grandchild after another. I don't know what to do with myself.
Today's lesson, is stop, think and pray! Ask God to show you His place for you. He knows where he wants you to live. If we had even stopped to pray and ask God if Sumter was where He wanted us to settle down, I am sure He would have guided us. It's really too late now as Rand has stuck in his heels and said, "I am not moving again, ever!" Don't live with the regrets I do for not seeking His will for my life. I just don't know how to get out of this slump.
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